Alzheimer’s usually comes on so slowly that it is easy to ignore the first warning signs. In the early stages, your loved one may brush off the symptoms as normal aging and forgetfulness. Alzheimer’s is not a normal part of aging, nor is it just about memory loss. Alzheimer’s is a killer. It is the sixth leading cause of death in the United States and the fifth leading cause of death of those 65 and older. It is also the only cause of death among the top ten diseases in the United States that has no way to prevent, cure or slow its progression. While other major diseases are decreasing, Alzheimer’s is on the rise.

While Alzheimer’s is a slow progression for most people, it can also strike swiftly and with a vengeance. No matter how it comes, we’re never prepared for the assault Alzheimer’s takes on our loved one and our families. There is no way we can be prepared. This is an insidious disease and preparation is just not possible. Alzheimer’s is not fair and it does not discriminate. With Alzheimer’s, it is not just those with the disease who suffer, it also takes its toll on caregivers and every family member.

If Alzheimer’s strikes your family, you are not alone. According to the Alzheimer’s Association, in 2010, 14.9 million family and friends provided 17 billion hours of unpaid care to those with Alzheimer’s and other dementias. Awareness of the warning signs is, sadly, one of the realities of aging in the 21st century. If you are aware of the most common signs of Alzheimer’s, you will be more keenly tuned in, should this begin to happen to a loved one.

The 10 Most Common Warning Signs of Alzheimer’s

1) Memory loss that disrupts daily life

This is very different than forgetfulness. One of the most common signs of Alzheimer’s is forgetting learned information. Other signs are forgetting important dates or events, asking and repeating the same information over and over again and relying on memory aids for any kind of recall.

2) Challenges in planning or solving problems

One example of this is following a recipe. Let’s say your mom has always been a great cook and loved cooking family dinners, and suddenly she is too confused cook or is unable to follow a recipe.

3) Difficulty completing familiar tasks at home

This can be anything – the inability to remember how to get to a familiar location; ignoring personal hygiene; forgetting how to play simple games or how to operate equipment like the television or microwave.

4) Trouble understanding visual images and spatial relationships

Some Alzheimer’s patients have difficulty reading, judging distance or discerning colors and contrasts.

5) Confusion with time or place

Often Alzheimer’s patients lose track of dates, passage of time or where they are.

6) Challenges with speaking or writing

Simple conversations may be too much for them to follow. They might stop in the middle of speaking and have no recollection of what they were saying. They often struggle with remembering the proper word to use when they speak.

7) Misplacing things and losing the ability to retrace steps

Things often show up in unusual places, i.e. a wallet or keys in the refrigerator, food placed in a closet; anything is possible. This step often leads to fear because they think someone is stealing from them.

8) Decrease in judgment

This is often when your loved one will give money or personal information to a total stranger over the phone.

9) Withdrawing from social activities

This is a sign that the Alzheimer’s patient knows something is wrong, is experiencing embarrassment, but doesn’t know what to do, so he/she withdraws.

10) Changes in mood or personality

Mood swings, changes in personality, confusion, suspiciousness, fearfulness, depression and anger are the most common signs of Alzheimer’s.

If you observe any of these symptoms, schedule an appointment with the primary care physician as soon as possible. If the doctor tells you that it’s just normal aging, don’t take this for an answer. Insist on getting a second opinion from a specialist, most likely a neurologist.

There is nothing more heartbreaking than seeing a family in complete denial and ignoring what is happening to their loved one. Inasmuch as a family might be terrified to receive the diagnosis, an early detection affords you the opportunity to begin planning and setting up the safest and most-loving environment for the Alzheimer’s patient. No two people move through Alzheimer’s disease in exactly the same way, however, at one time or another, the patient will most likely experience many of the symptoms previously listed. It is because of this that there is no one single approach to caregiving. Your responsibilities in caring for an Alzheimer’s patient will be similar to what others have gone through, but also uniquely your own.

You must remember this is a brutal disease that has occupied your loved one’s brain and will also take its toll on you if you allow it. You will be tested and taken to task, and there will be days you will feel like you are crawling around on glass. Putting systems in place to help you manage the journey is going to be the key to your success. First and foremost, you must gather the family and have a meeting and make decisions together. This disease will affect every person in the family, and each person will handle it differently. Be respectful of each other’s feelings. Do not ignore or leave children out of the equation. The truth is that in the beginning stages, children and animals are often a comfort to the Alzheimer’s patient.

What will be the most-challenging aspects of the Alzheimer’s journey? Chances are that you have a busy life and you are already juggling too many things. Having your care plan in order is one step that will really help you. This is not about being a hero or a martyr. This is about how you care for your loved one without losing your life and in knowing this is NOT a job for one person. It is simply impossible for one person to be a full-time caregiver, and if you try to do that, your health and well-being will seriously suffer.

You are going to experience major sadness as you watch a beloved family member or friend lose the battle to this disease. Allow yourself to feel that sadness. Share your feelings with others in your family who are experiencing their own sadness. You are grieving for the loss of your loved one, the unfairness, the pain and the suffering, and you must allow yourself to do this. Your role is going to constantly change as your loved one’s disease progresses. Spouses caring for a partner usually experience depression. Undoubtedly, intimacy will be diminished in some way and you will feel alone and sad. Inasmuch as intimacy will change, you still need to make the connection through gentle, comforting touches. We tend to forget that beneath the empty eyes and distant stare that accompany Alzheimer’s, our loved one is still there. Holding someone’s hand can help heal a lot of the emptiness and pain.

The challenge is really keeping up with your ever-changing emotions. Reach out and ask for the support and help you need. Take a break. Contrary to what you might be thinking, you do not have to do this alone. Trying to tackle this by yourself is a huge mistake and it will cost you in ways you can’t imagine.

If you are a baby boomer, you may well find yourself caught between two worlds – the world of Alzheimer’s and the world of your life and those of your family and children. Families get torn apart when caregiving becomes a life event, and it’s compounded when Alzheimer’s is the disease. This is a family problem. The duty of care does not and cannot fall on one person. Each member of the family must cooperate and help. You will be required to make decisions about attending any social or work-related activity or caring for your loved one. You will be asked to choose between your family and your loved one with Alzheimer’s. You can and will make these decisions, but the most important decision must always be to maintain your health and life.

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Cindy Laverty is an author, public speaker and host of “The Cindy Laverty Show” heard nationally each week on CRN Digital Talk Radio. She is the founder of The Care Company and has dedicated her life to creating a nation of what she calls “Empowered Caregivers.” Cindy coaches family caregivers and teaches them how to thrive in the world of caring for another. You can contact her at www.empoweredcare.com where you can also sign up to receive her E-zine and receive a bonus e-book, “You: The Other Person to Care For.”