LIFE PLANNING FOR BOOMERS: FROM THE INSIDE OUT

Nov 28, 2011, 7:48 a.m.

By Barbara Meltzer and Doug Dickson

It seemed to have happened when we weren’t looking. We awoke one day and noticed that about 20 years had been added to our lives. Not so long ago, people retired at 65 and lived only a few more years. Today, most of us can expect to live well into our 80s and 90s. A new stage now exists between the end of middle age and the arrival of old age.

According to sociologist Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot, “This stage represents a significant and new developmental period in our culture, one that comes along only once a century. It is characterized by people between 50 and 75 who are neither young nor old.”

Boomers, the generation blazing the trail through this new stage, often find themselves unsure how to navigate these uncharted waters. It’s a stage that doesn’t come with the rites of passage, the social norms or the personal examples that we’re used to in making other life transitions.

So, what do we do?

Not many people, it is safe to say, have ever been asked the question, “If you had 20 more healthy years added to your life, what would you do with them?” For most over the age of 50, the answer would not be immediately apparent. But many of us do begin to have a nagging sense that something more is needed and, perhaps, possible as we grow into and beyond middle age.

Do any of these sentiments sound familiar?

• Work just doesn’t feel as satisfying or challenging as it once did.

• Wouldn’t it be great to take a few months off to (fill in the blank)?

• What do I really want to do when (or if) I’m able to retire?

• I want to help my aging parents (or adult kids, or both), but when will I have time for the things I want to do as well?

• I’ve been so busy, I feel like I’ve lost touch with people and causes I care about.

The unanswered challenge for many is what to do with this growing urge to reach beyond the status quo. And that is understandable. As a society and as individuals, we’re at a frontier: we’re blazing a trail. Being on the leading edge can be both exciting and scary … but to succeed requires that we think differently about the future. With the prospect of longer life comes two critical questions:

1) What will I do with these added years?

2) How will I pay for them?

Creating a roadmap—what one couple did

Looking at the reality of a longer life, Mary Radu and her husband Rich, decided to take a holistic approach and create a roadmap for their next chapter. She was 55 at the time; he was 63. They had been together for 18 years and both were determined to bring “new joy and partnership” into their lives. A life planner by profession, Mary had the tools with which to take a good, hard look at the future. Some of their considerations were:

• Creating a new home together in a community close to friends and family. Rich’s mom was in her 90s and would most likely need help. A flexible space was important where loved ones could live with them down the road and/or a caregiver could live on premises.

• Being part of an “aging-in-place” community that includes a network of volunteers and neighbors willing to help each other and comprehensive services for older adults.

• Access to health care and other important services within a 15-30 minute drive, in addition to safe walking and bike riding from the house.

• Close proximity to San Francisco for business, culture and friends.

• For Rich, a farmer at heart, land that he could work. This would also be something they could share with others by donating their homegrown fruit.

Two years of careful planning enabled Mary and Rich to make their vision a reality. “Rich and I thought through all aspects of our lives and focused on what was important to each of us individually and as a couple,” says Mary. “Soul searching is not always easy, but it was vital in order to plan a productive and fulfilling future that will take us into old age.” Now living in their new home, close to the water and with ample land, Mary and Rich have brought their vision to life.

But, what about uncertainty?

Embarking on a process like this almost always involves change, and change can be unnerving. While Mary and Rich were clear in the end about their goals, they didn’t start out that way. They had to break through the barriers of uncertainty.

Uncertainty strikes because we’re not sure what to expect, because we’re not clear about our options, because we don’t know if others will give us a chance, or because we’re tempted to play it safe.

We’re also uncertain because we don’t know how much money we’ll need or how much more we must earn or save. Or how to generate more income or savings in a depressed economy. Or what to do if that isn’t possible.

Uncertainty can also arise from the tug between working and playing, between helping others and helping ourselves, between making an impact now and creating a legacy for later. Uncertainty upsets balance and balance is one of the things we strive for in our lives.

So what is the antidote for uncertainty? As with Mary and Rich, it’s planning and preparation, which opened the door to richer, fuller lives. Some of the benefits of planning and preparation:

Planning brings things into clearer focus and gives us a chance to step back and look at the big picture of our lives. It can shift our understanding of things and open the door to new possibilities we didn’t recognize before.
Planning helps us identify and reduce legal, financial and other risks. This, in turn, eases our anxiety and elevates our confidence about the future.
Preparation expands our choices. When we plan ahead, more options are on the table. Waiting for a crisis limits our choices because time for action is short and some options no longer fit our circumstances.
Preparation puts us in a position to “make our own luck.” When pleasant, unexpected surprises – some call it serendipity -- come our way, we have a framework to determine if the option or the timing is right for us.

Planning for the future: a way to get started

When planning for the second half of life, we face many choices. Knowing what to consider and how to set priorities can be a challenge. The Life Planning Network, a community of professionals who specialize in helping people meet that challenge, has created the following questionnaire for getting started.

As the questionnaire suggests, there are many parts of our lives that need to be included in the planning process. Though interrelated, we tend to view them separately because the professionals we see are specialists in one part or another. We wouldn’t ask our doctor about taxes or a yoga instructor about insurance. But since a decision in one part of life can affect others, we need to consider them all, either together or in turn.

Many of us tend to approach a process like this by trial and error, but that can be a long and frustrating experience. The alternative is to seek out resources that are designed to help us get results. Some possibilities include:

• Working with a life planner, life coach, counselor or adviser who has experience assisting people with second-half-of-life transitions.

• Working with a financial life planner (a financial planner or adviser who has additional training to assist you with non-financial life planning issues).

• Working with a community-based organization that provides transition services geared for people over age 50.

• Working with someone in another specialty (housing, wellness, law, etc.) who has a professional relationship that allows you to connect to one of the above.

• Working independently with the aid of an instructional book, web site or other resource.

However we go about this process, it is important to remember that we are not in it by ourselves. Our spouse or partner, family, friends, neighbors and others may all have a part to play and a stake in the outcome. And if not now, they too at some point will encounter the questions to which we seek answers. As trailblazers, we have an opportunity not only to seek their support but also to set an example.

For many Boomers, later life is evolving into an extraordinary period of good health and extended opportunity to do remarkable things. But it won’t happen automatically. Our social, political and economic environment makes it necessary for each of us to take charge of our destiny. By doing so, we have a chance to create the lives we want while paving the way for others to follow in our footsteps.

Barbara Meltzer is founder and principal of the Los Angeles-based public relations and marketing agency, Barbara Meltzer & Associates. In 2007, she was appointed by Supervisor Zev Yaroslavsky to the Los Angeles County Commission for Older Adults. She can be reached at barbara@meltzerpr.com

Doug Dickson is president of Discovering What’s Next, which supports mid-life and older adults in work and life transitions. He is a senior consultant with New Directions and contributing author to Audacious Aging. He can be reached at dougdickson17@gmail.com. Both Barbara and Doug are members of the Life Planning Network and its board of directors.

LIFE PLANNING QUESTIONAIRE

When considering the second half of life, we face many choices. And, there are some aspects of life we may overlook. The following questionnaire can help you think about all of the areas of your life, which ones you are most unclear about, and how to set priorities as you begin the life planning process.

After responding to these statements, look at the overall results and ask yourself three questions:

Are my next steps clearly suggested by these results? If so, tackle each one in turn.
If not, is there one that I’m particularly interested in or concerned about? If so, begin there.
If not, which seems the most important in terms of moving the process forward? Begin there.

[Work] I am clear about my options for continued work beyond midlife, whether for income, to remain active or to use my skills for a useful purpose.