By Cindy Laverty

Few people are ever prepared for the caregiving journey. Perhaps it’s because we don’t want to think about it; or maybe it’s because we can’t imagine having one more thing to do; so we wait and quietly wonder if it’s going to happen to us. I can tell you from personal experience and years of helping family caregivers manage the journey: even if you think you are prepared, you never really understand what is happening until you are in it – until you are fully emerged in this life-changing journey. Certainly, you should have the proper legal work in place. You need to make a house safe for an elderly loved one and you need to have some idea about the financial resources available. If you have these things in place, then you are in the smallest minority of people who have actually thought about becoming a caregiver.

The caregiver’s journey challenges each person’s physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual constitution. It is without a doubt one of the most rewarding experiences you will ever have, but if you enter into it without your eyes wide open, it has the potential to make a mess of your world. So let’s explore what this journey is like and what you can do to be prepared.

Physical Challenges

There is the obvious assistance that caregivers often need to perform; help with dressing, bathing, eating, moving from bed to chair, turning someone in bed and these types of activities can, in and of themselves be physically debilitating. However, the real detriment comes when caregivers forget about self-care – caring for one’s own physicality on a daily basis. When you put your personal well-being on the back burner, it is a dangerous tightrope to walk. If you don’t put yourself at the top of the hierarchy of needs, you are headed for big trouble. If you don’t matter enough to yourself, please stop and think about the person you are caring for. Who will care for that person if you end up in the hospital? Please do not sacrifice yourself for the sake of another.

Emotional

Caregiving is an emotional roller coaster ride. Chances are that you are watching physical and cognitive changes in someone who you are very close to and that wreaks havoc on your heart. Couple that with your own personal stress, worries, sadness and frustration and caregiving becomes a sea of emotions. Part of engaging in self-care is learning ways to manage your emotions. There are so many ways to do this, but the truth is that you have to make a decision to actually do it. You can read books on this subject. You can seek wise counsel. You can get advice from lots of different places, but if you don’t actually do it, you are wasting your time. Practice emotional self-care every day.

Intellectual

Yes, caregiving challenges you intellectually, because you must now become wise about how to communicate with medical personnel. You have to learn new ways to communicate with your loved one, and this isn’t always easy. You will undoubtedly be dealing with attorneys at one point or another and you will also need to learn the ins and outs of Medicare. The best things you can do are to ask a lot of questions and take notes. Be confident when you show up for appointments or when you are talking to someone on the phone. Even if you aren’t confident, practice speaking like you are. Knowledge is power and in the beginning, you might have to research and educate yourself. Ask questions and seek help from experts.

Spirituality

Caregiving challenges us to look inward. At some point, you will be forced to get quiet and ask the big questions. You will be forced to question your beliefs - and this is good. Each person’s spirituality is different and, therefore, each individual must engage in a daily practice of some form of spirituality. It doesn’t matter what it is. It could be taking a walk outside and listening. It might be a daily five-minute meditation. It could be a conversation with God. Maybe it’s reading from a spiritual book or a visit to your religious community. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that you do it – that you engage in a daily practice that brings peace to your soul.

Cindy Laverty is a caregiver guide. Caregivers need help and she provides it. Caregivers need answers and she has them. Caregivers need someone to guide them through the journey, and she walks the path with you. The founder of The Care Company, a website dedicated to helping caregivers get the answers they need, you can find Cindy at www.thecarecompany.biz where a special gift awaits you. She is also an author, public speaker and host of “The Cindy Laverty Show,” heard nationally each week on CRN Digital Talk Radio. www.crntalk.com.